shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmAndrea14 posts in thread
shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmI am struggling through life because of my shyness. I was raised in a strict catholic family and not allowed to have friends over or go places. I am now in my early 30's and struggling with few friends and I sabotage every wonderful career opportunity that's come my way....which have been a lot. I panic and then pass the opportunity to someone else. The problem I've encountered recently over and over again is people when I meet them saying to me, "are you alright, you look like you're going to have a breakdown, or relax, and they pick up on my problem. I don't know what's happening, but I used to be able to disguise it more and now I'm becoming even more fearful of meeting new people etc. because of all of these recent comments. I just want to hide more. They seem to be happening with almost everyone. I recently put on some weight so I attribute this to that...that my self image has gone down. To sum it up, I am so tired of holding myself back in life this way. It is so painful to know that I am living with this problem and I want to change. What do I do to change this? Any advice as to what's happening with me and I attribute my shyness to the environment I grew up in, am I correct? (although my brothers are not this way) Please help!
The Psychiatrist's away
Sun, 23 Nov 2003, 09:30 pmI rather feel the discussion here has drifted away from what a common public forum can sensibly deal with.
The question in the first place was probably misplaced, although if genuine answers were sought, the community here are all generally helpful. But without knowing how qualified someone is to answer, you have to make up your own mind about how valuable or not their advice is (including mine)...which could be tricky if your mind is a bit vulnerable right now.
We've not heard again from the original author, so it seems a little strange to argue in more and more depth about how to assist a subject who is no longer part of the conversation.
As far as the problem of overcoming shyness, theatrical types are probably a bit removed from the actual problem, although they have probably been there at some stage in their past and so can be terrific role models of an end to aspire to. Learning from others relating their experiences is probably the extent to which this forum can assist.
But on personal observation I must say I have far preferred Mya's comments to Catty's. Whether Mya is aware of Freudian terminology or not, her comments have seemed sensitive, encouraging and helpful. Catty, your comments to Andrea and then Mya have displayed a perhaps better technical awareness of psychology terms, but a rather less sympathetic or tolerant attitude in your explanations...which don't actually seem that helpful. Your advice and your experience is worth bringing to the table, but your table etiquette may need a bit more polish.
cheers,
Craig
PS And what's wrong with 'band-aid' solutions? I've taken skin off more times than anyone could count. When I put a bandaid on, a few days later, it's better. ...?
[%sig%]
The question in the first place was probably misplaced, although if genuine answers were sought, the community here are all generally helpful. But without knowing how qualified someone is to answer, you have to make up your own mind about how valuable or not their advice is (including mine)...which could be tricky if your mind is a bit vulnerable right now.
We've not heard again from the original author, so it seems a little strange to argue in more and more depth about how to assist a subject who is no longer part of the conversation.
As far as the problem of overcoming shyness, theatrical types are probably a bit removed from the actual problem, although they have probably been there at some stage in their past and so can be terrific role models of an end to aspire to. Learning from others relating their experiences is probably the extent to which this forum can assist.
But on personal observation I must say I have far preferred Mya's comments to Catty's. Whether Mya is aware of Freudian terminology or not, her comments have seemed sensitive, encouraging and helpful. Catty, your comments to Andrea and then Mya have displayed a perhaps better technical awareness of psychology terms, but a rather less sympathetic or tolerant attitude in your explanations...which don't actually seem that helpful. Your advice and your experience is worth bringing to the table, but your table etiquette may need a bit more polish.
cheers,
Craig
PS And what's wrong with 'band-aid' solutions? I've taken skin off more times than anyone could count. When I put a bandaid on, a few days later, it's better. ...?
[%sig%]
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