shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmAndrea14 posts in thread
shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmI am struggling through life because of my shyness. I was raised in a strict catholic family and not allowed to have friends over or go places. I am now in my early 30's and struggling with few friends and I sabotage every wonderful career opportunity that's come my way....which have been a lot. I panic and then pass the opportunity to someone else. The problem I've encountered recently over and over again is people when I meet them saying to me, "are you alright, you look like you're going to have a breakdown, or relax, and they pick up on my problem. I don't know what's happening, but I used to be able to disguise it more and now I'm becoming even more fearful of meeting new people etc. because of all of these recent comments. I just want to hide more. They seem to be happening with almost everyone. I recently put on some weight so I attribute this to that...that my self image has gone down. To sum it up, I am so tired of holding myself back in life this way. It is so painful to know that I am living with this problem and I want to change. What do I do to change this? Any advice as to what's happening with me and I attribute my shyness to the environment I grew up in, am I correct? (although my brothers are not this way) Please help!
Re: The Artist's Way
Thu, 20 Nov 2003, 10:49 pmWalter Plinge
Have you ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist? They are wonderful creatures, providing you get a good one that works well with you, but I have to confess your described situation reeks of egocentricity and self indulgence. I understand that catholicism, once ingrained, is there forever, (and thus should be banished from the planet), and you can spend a lifetime furiously telling yourself it's all a crock, then immediately get all god fearing and guilty for that thought in the first place. But the problems you describe don't seem to have much to do with the should I take the pill versus having ten children, should I become a nun versus should I throw it all in with the devil and become an actress. Therefore, perhaps the first step is, especially as you're now in your thirties, is to take some responsibility for yourself and who you are. Every serial killer has a tale to tell about a shitty upbringing - all true, of course, but does that condone the serial killing?
So, Andrea, I say pull your finger out, stop moping about. You probaly just have a simple little personality disorder, like most of us, that needs to be sorted. You, as an adult, need to cope and function. You don't seem to be - unless paranoia has become chic and not a mental illness anymore - therefore find out why you're not coping.
The previous answers are band aid solutions. Too many times people learn to paste a facade over the intitial problem, which means the problem never goes away. Also, asking yourself what makes you happy, seriously, are you able to answer that honestly, with no interference from you , id, ego or superego? In other words, we tell ourselves what we want to believe, or think we should believe about ourselves. Also, there's that whole labyrinth of issues about what we see as a comfort is actually self destruction - LIKE EATING EXCESSIVELY. You think it's your friend, when it's self loathing that is probably prompting it.
As i said - see a good therapist. And not a social worker or a psychologist. A good bloody psychiatrist.
So, Andrea, I say pull your finger out, stop moping about. You probaly just have a simple little personality disorder, like most of us, that needs to be sorted. You, as an adult, need to cope and function. You don't seem to be - unless paranoia has become chic and not a mental illness anymore - therefore find out why you're not coping.
The previous answers are band aid solutions. Too many times people learn to paste a facade over the intitial problem, which means the problem never goes away. Also, asking yourself what makes you happy, seriously, are you able to answer that honestly, with no interference from you , id, ego or superego? In other words, we tell ourselves what we want to believe, or think we should believe about ourselves. Also, there's that whole labyrinth of issues about what we see as a comfort is actually self destruction - LIKE EATING EXCESSIVELY. You think it's your friend, when it's self loathing that is probably prompting it.
As i said - see a good therapist. And not a social worker or a psychologist. A good bloody psychiatrist.
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