shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmAndrea14 posts in thread
shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmI am struggling through life because of my shyness. I was raised in a strict catholic family and not allowed to have friends over or go places. I am now in my early 30's and struggling with few friends and I sabotage every wonderful career opportunity that's come my way....which have been a lot. I panic and then pass the opportunity to someone else. The problem I've encountered recently over and over again is people when I meet them saying to me, "are you alright, you look like you're going to have a breakdown, or relax, and they pick up on my problem. I don't know what's happening, but I used to be able to disguise it more and now I'm becoming even more fearful of meeting new people etc. because of all of these recent comments. I just want to hide more. They seem to be happening with almost everyone. I recently put on some weight so I attribute this to that...that my self image has gone down. To sum it up, I am so tired of holding myself back in life this way. It is so painful to know that I am living with this problem and I want to change. What do I do to change this? Any advice as to what's happening with me and I attribute my shyness to the environment I grew up in, am I correct? (although my brothers are not this way) Please help!
Re: shyness & self consiousness
Fri, 14 Nov 2003, 02:07 pmWalter Plinge
Hi Andrea,
first things first, you are not alone in feeling like this. Everyone goes through this at some point. How to get out of it - well you've acknowledged it is a problem and obviously you have the guts to want to get through it, as you have asked for help. That's brave.
Personally, i think because of your strict catholic upbringing (I am also from one), you have abided by your parents rules and thoughts for so long (and they have made such an impact on you) that you are not comfortable making your own decisions. You are probably not commiting to anything because you haven't comitted to yourself - you don't quite know who you are yourself because you've been fed so much from your parents.
I don't know how to solve it, but I tell you what is a great book to buy - the artists way, it is a 12 week course (you read one chapter a week and do the exercises) by the end of it you will should be more sure of who you are, you will do things for you and no-one else but you, it is a very good self-discovering adventure. To start with make a list of all the things that make you happy, whether it be seeing a movie, sitting under a tree on a hot day, baking a chocolate cake etc etc and make sure you spend time doing these things - it will give you an instant lift as you are doing things YOU enjoy!
Know that this too will pass, and you can overcome this.
Melissa
first things first, you are not alone in feeling like this. Everyone goes through this at some point. How to get out of it - well you've acknowledged it is a problem and obviously you have the guts to want to get through it, as you have asked for help. That's brave.
Personally, i think because of your strict catholic upbringing (I am also from one), you have abided by your parents rules and thoughts for so long (and they have made such an impact on you) that you are not comfortable making your own decisions. You are probably not commiting to anything because you haven't comitted to yourself - you don't quite know who you are yourself because you've been fed so much from your parents.
I don't know how to solve it, but I tell you what is a great book to buy - the artists way, it is a 12 week course (you read one chapter a week and do the exercises) by the end of it you will should be more sure of who you are, you will do things for you and no-one else but you, it is a very good self-discovering adventure. To start with make a list of all the things that make you happy, whether it be seeing a movie, sitting under a tree on a hot day, baking a chocolate cake etc etc and make sure you spend time doing these things - it will give you an instant lift as you are doing things YOU enjoy!
Know that this too will pass, and you can overcome this.
Melissa
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