shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmAndrea14 posts in thread
shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmI am struggling through life because of my shyness. I was raised in a strict catholic family and not allowed to have friends over or go places. I am now in my early 30's and struggling with few friends and I sabotage every wonderful career opportunity that's come my way....which have been a lot. I panic and then pass the opportunity to someone else. The problem I've encountered recently over and over again is people when I meet them saying to me, "are you alright, you look like you're going to have a breakdown, or relax, and they pick up on my problem. I don't know what's happening, but I used to be able to disguise it more and now I'm becoming even more fearful of meeting new people etc. because of all of these recent comments. I just want to hide more. They seem to be happening with almost everyone. I recently put on some weight so I attribute this to that...that my self image has gone down. To sum it up, I am so tired of holding myself back in life this way. It is so painful to know that I am living with this problem and I want to change. What do I do to change this? Any advice as to what's happening with me and I attribute my shyness to the environment I grew up in, am I correct? (although my brothers are not this way) Please help!
Re: shyness & self consiousness
Mon, 15 Nov 2004, 07:42 amWalter Plinge
Having been shy most of my life I have some idea of what you may be going through. I'm a nurse. I found that Careing for other people required speaking up and being a spokes person for them in times when they could not do this for themselves. I grew to be more out spoken. I would never have spoken up for myself. It took several years before I became comfortable in this role and at times it was very unconfortable for me.( Personal growth sometimes is.) I'm glad I came out of my shell. As a parent, there are times when I have needed to help my childern and stand up for their rights. Public speaking was a nightmare for me. I would get so nervous I would get dizzy. At my church, I now speak at the pulpit several times a year. I started small with one or two liine announcements. I typed them on a paper with extra large print so even when I was nervous I could read the message. I still keep my speaches to one page of large type ..about 5 minutes. Know that you are a good person and everyone has something to give to others. Most peole are as uncomfortable as you in new situations and are really relieved when someone initiates a conversation. Telling a joke or saying something flattering or funny is often a good starting point. Go forward and don't be too hard on yourself. Good luck.
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