shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmAndrea14 posts in thread
shyness & self consiousness
Thu, 13 Nov 2003, 09:26 pmI am struggling through life because of my shyness. I was raised in a strict catholic family and not allowed to have friends over or go places. I am now in my early 30's and struggling with few friends and I sabotage every wonderful career opportunity that's come my way....which have been a lot. I panic and then pass the opportunity to someone else. The problem I've encountered recently over and over again is people when I meet them saying to me, "are you alright, you look like you're going to have a breakdown, or relax, and they pick up on my problem. I don't know what's happening, but I used to be able to disguise it more and now I'm becoming even more fearful of meeting new people etc. because of all of these recent comments. I just want to hide more. They seem to be happening with almost everyone. I recently put on some weight so I attribute this to that...that my self image has gone down. To sum it up, I am so tired of holding myself back in life this way. It is so painful to know that I am living with this problem and I want to change. What do I do to change this? Any advice as to what's happening with me and I attribute my shyness to the environment I grew up in, am I correct? (although my brothers are not this way) Please help!
Re: The Artist's Way
Fri, 21 Nov 2003, 08:23 amWalter Plinge
I disagree with the last comment. Yes, help is good, but I think it is a matter of insecurity not thier "ego". Not all people, adult or otherwise have the strength, knowledge or confidence to "just pull your finger out". Sometimes it is the most daunting thing just actually getting out to go and get help. People need encouragement and support and I don't believe that reading an inspirational book or looking at a class that they may enjoy as a "bandaid" solution. It ALL helps, and without these small steps, how will they get better? If Andrea spends her life getting help and not doing these other things that are a part of life, she isn't really doing what she really wants.....and that is having friends and confidence. If her family is so strict that she doesn't know HOW to communicate, she will understandably lose confidence and eventually get to the point where she feels the way she does because she has NO-ONE. Wouldn't that make you feel sad, depressed and shy? I know it would make me feel like that. And especially because she is in her 30's....she doesn't know what socialising is and probably feels quite insignificant......she needs friends and support. So I believe once you have done this Andrea.....make some friends by starting with small things, like doing some classes and read some great books....you will get some confidence & be happy! Write down one goal for the week....something that you think is a challenge but also think you can do...and make yourself do it!
Good luck
xx
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