Winter Warmers at The Melville

Today I saw the matinee performance of WINTER WARMERS at the Melville Theatre. It consists of three one-act plays, two by a certain Anton Chekhov (A Marriage Proposal and On the Harmfulness of Tobacco), and one by local playwright Dawn Murray entitled Death's Dilemma. Where: Melville Theatre, Cnr Stock Road and Canning Highway When: August 2,7,8,9 @ 8.00pm, August 3 @ 2.00pm (Sunday matinee) Tickets: $15/$12 (includes soup and roll at interval) Bookings: 9330 4565 The show kicked off with A Marriage Proposal, directed by Jeff Hansen. Chronic hypochondriac, Ivan Vassilevitch (Lewis Johnson) turns up to ask Stepan Stepanovitch (Stuart Riches) if he can have his daughter's hand in marriage. Stepan is delighted and leaves Ivan alone with Natalia (Amy Welsh) to 'let the magic happen'. However, too much beating around the bush leads to a misunderstanding between the two lovebirds and chaos ensues. Chekhov tagged this play 'a joke in one act' which, thankfully, isn't on the cast. Riches, Johnson and Welsh all handle their parts with aplomb, though a touch more overacting might suit the ridiculous situation a bit better. Cudos to the actors for pronouncing all of those notoriously difficult Chekovian character names with barely a slip. The set was simple and effective, and the use of Tchaikovski's Nutcracker perfectly bracketed the piece. Well done, guys. Following this was On the Harmfulness of Tobacco, as presented by Mr Ivan Ivanovich in the person of Lindsay Sedgwick. What ensues is a classic Chekhovian piece in which a 'dissertation on the evils of smoking' slowly digresses into a stream of consciousness in which we learn far more about the man giving the lecture than on his chosen topic. Sedgwick's performance is enjoyably quaint, and the set design of a simple podium and spotlight added to the scholarly intent of the piece. Sedgwick's delivery of the piece lost pace at times, which caused the audience attention to waver, though I later found out that the piece had been added to the show barely a few weeks before it went up, so any lapses are sure to be ironed out. All in all, highly enjoyable. At interval we were all treated to a free mug of soup and buttered roll, a perfect winter refreshment. So far, so good. Sadly, though, it's now my duty to go a bit rock apocalypse in my review. (To coin a phrase?) The second act consisted of Death's Dilemma, written and directed by Dawn Murray. Ageing grandfather Ben (Alan Comac) is in a coma in hospital after a life of indulgence has finally caught up with him. The Angel of Death (Julia Hearn) appears to him, telling him his time is up, but the spectral Ben has other ideas. Meanwhile, the drama deepens when Ben's dutiful daughter, Jenny (Judy Davies Moore), is joined at his bedside by his granddaughter, Lisa (Felicity May). Unfortunately, though it has an interesting premise, this play has nothing to recommend it. The direction is shoddy, the acting is woeful, and the dialogue reads like fan-fiction written by an adolescent who thinks Home and Away is the last word in quality drama. Death, complete with all-white clothing, has a series of unconvincing arguments with the spectral Ben, who pouts his way around the stage like a four year old who's been told he has to go to bed early. He (literally) throws a foot-stamping tanty every time Death suggests it's time for him to 'transit', petulantly declaring he's too busy 'living his life to the full'. Every time he has one of these conversations he gets out of bed, comes to the front of the stage, jigs about a little bit, then hops back in again. That's it. Meanwhile, daughter Jenny (Davies Moore) is refusing to look the truth in the face, convinced that, though more than half of Ben's brain is dead, he's going to wake up at any moment and ask for a beer and a ciggy. She'd rather believe that the doctor (Lindsay Sedgwick) is poisoning her father than accept that a man in his sixties or seventies (we never find out) could have a massive stroke due to a life long abuse of tobacco and alcohol. She then spends the rest of the play repeating these beliefs at a number of melodramatic pitches. At this point Lisa (May) arrives on the scene, telling her mother, 'I've just got off the plane from Los Angeles' (thanks for telling us, we'd never have known otherwise), and without even glancing at her terminally ill grandfather demands Jenny bustle off and get her a coffee. She then presents the voice of reason throughout the play. However, Jenny doesn't want to listen, and after a while neither did the audience. The whole piece was, in a word, agony. The Angel of Death tells Ben that she's prepared to wait an eternity for him to say he's ready to go, and that's precisely what it felt like. The play was twice as long as it needed to be due to the simple expedient of the characters repeating exactly what they'd said to each other in the last scene. Hand gestures (and there were a LOT of them) were limited to nothing above the elbow, and the acting was appaling, swinging wildly between wailing melodrama and complete woodenness without ever landing in between. It became so painful that I spent most of the play staring at the floor to my left rather than watch what was happening on stage. Furthermore, though a group of late middle-agers theoretically has a longer attention span than those of us young'uns, there were more than a few groans rippling through the predominantly elderly audience when the lights came up for each of the last few scenes. The muttering and sighing became audibly louder as each interminable scene followed the last. The one genuine laugh-out loud moment of this so-called 'blackish comedy' was when a member of the audience developed a coughing fit and, just as Ben declared he was ready to go, muttered out loud that she was next. I've always maintained that, as a mark of respect to fellow performers, I would never walk out of anyone's show early. Today sorely tested that resolve. I also lost count of the number of times my partner leant across to me and asked if I wanted to leave, something which she likewise has always sworn never to do. However, I refuse to say only bad things, and there are some good points to the play which should be mentioned: 1. It ended. 2. The sound effect of the machine-that-goes-PING was very consistent throughout. 3. Though two of the actors only joined the show in the last two weeks, everyone knew their lines and cues. Well done on that point. I realise that some of my comments above could hardly be considered constructive. I am also aware of other recent less-than-favourable reviews posted on this site (Rock Apocalypse, Errol Flynn, etc.) I myself have been on the receiving end (Temporo, 2004, for example). It was not my desire to add to this growing trend, but when a piece is so dismal that a person can't stand looking at the stage, one must say SOMETHING. Feel free to offer your thoughts on this. In conclusion, I would like to say that I found the first half of 'WINTER WARMERS' very entertaining, and offer my sincere blessing to anyone who decides to duck off after they've had their soup and roll. Freddie the rocking jedi badger