The battle looms

Reuters: 1314. News just in. The King of England, Edward Longshank's is assembling his mighty army, in readiness for their march to Bannockburn Scotland, there to do battle with Robert the Bruce and his raggle taggle bunch of Highlanders. The Kings army made up of the countries finest football hooligans, long term unemployed, and Polish / Czech immigrants, are expected to arrive in Scotland on the 28th April with the battle real commencing at 8PM on the 29th April 2009. For those unable to make the 'Legless before Liverpool' coach trip to Bannockburn, a 'live as we speak' re-enactment of the battle will be staged at the Phoenix Theatre in Hamilton Hill on the 29th April. Tickets for this must see event are available now from BOC's at the measly sum of $16 full, $12 concession. Note: Wednesday the 6/5/09 you can see the enactment for the bargain price of $12, that's all tickets. We suggest you book early, or face the disappointment of having to sit in the 3rd row. Note: Further re-enactments will be shown at 8PM on the 30 April and 1/2/7/8/9 May 2009. So book now, and in years to come you can tell your grand children that you were 'almost'there at BANNOCKBURN! Johnny McGrim A laddie most definitely in sane