Becoming the character..

I am 17 and recently begun a vocational course in acting, mainly because this is a career I'd seriously like to enter, thoroughly enjoying every play, musical I've ever performed in. Also having people compliment me on my work makes me feel like I've made a good career choice

This course has made me look at acting in ways that I had only touched on before in it; in particular in becoming the character. Although I'm finding this difficult, I think I'm already starting to reap the rewards in how I act.

But as I said, I do find it difficult; no matter how deeply I try to look into texts, no matter how much I think about what the character is thinking, no matter how much I try to draw from my own emotions... I don't feel that I am doing it right. However, sometimes my drama teacher has complimented on the fact that I'm starting to touch on it, but I really don't know what it is I'm doing right.

There are probably two times when I think I've become close to generating rather than demonstrating a character, and both times have left me felt mentally numb after performing. Whether this really is a side effect of "going too far", or just me thinking it is, I really don't know. However, thinking for sometime, I've been able to realise two things that might be related to getting it right:

* Being like a child - It might sound silly, but as a child I "played" in the playground by myself a lot, not so much because I was a loner, but more because I found it so fun just "playing" my own TV shows! And, when I think about it, this is probably the closest to becoming characters that I've got. Also I didn't feel restricted at all in the playground, not even slightly embarressed for playing these games alone all the time; totally different to me nowadays (rather nervous and insecure), probably because of being taught and ridiculed by society on how to "act". I'm guessing my raging childhood imagination is why I nowadays love being an actor, and I feel slightly annoyed that I have "learnt" these "bad habits" (And may I add, that imagination is totally still there, but just disconnected from myself, if that makes sense?)

* Dreaming - When you dream of course you usually act depending on what the circumstances are (e.g. evil monster, run!) so if I have the ability to dream then to some point I must have the ability to "believe" that I'm in a certain situation. Also as a side-note, in a lot of dreams at some point I realise I'm dreaming, and therefore am not afraid to do anything, or play out my own characters in these dreams (a lot like me as a kid?).

I know in my head that in some way I can use both of these to become my characters much more realistically, but I can't work out what there is I can do to take advantage of it. Also I need to somehow "unlearn" all the conformity to society so I'm not afraid to play whoever I am. So I can be a kid again!

I would really appreciate any advice anyone has; I have a huge passion for acting, and it sometimes frustrates me that I can't act as well as I know I can (I don't mean in the sense that I'm a great actor; I mean more in the sense that I know something is getting in the way from any restraints). I apologise if none of this makes sense, and again thanks!
~Gary