So you wanna write a review?

Okay! Wanna write a critique, and win 2 tickets to the very show you're reviewing? It's easy! A lad in sane productions are inviting ITA members to write an imaginary review for our forthcoming show, 'Grim's Fairy Tales' (starts this coming Wednesday at the Old Mill, for more info, refer what's on / productions this site. Two prizes are on offer, one for the wittiest slash bitterest critique, and one for the wittiest slash best suck job critique we receive. The rules are simple! No four letter words containing any of the letters F, C,N, T, no Walter Plinge or Flange or whatever thy monicker is...and no seven page diatribes! Short, sweet or bitter! The judges decision is final..on offer are 2 x 2 complimentary tickets for our Wednesday preview show, not much of a prize I know, but hey beggers can't be.....so get to it....competition closes Tuesday afternoon....and the winners will be notified Go for it! Johnny Grim A lad in sane productions

Last Thursday, I imagined I paid an Imaginary $17.50 to imagine that I witnessed the Imaginary Run-Of-The-Old-Mill Theatre production of "Grim's Fairy Tales". I wish I could imagine my Imaginary $17.50 back. Long beloved fables of one's warmest childhood moments are dragged kicking and screaming onto the Imaginary stage, whence they are molested and left to die. How in the name of all that is Imaginary can Imaginary actors bring themselves to wade through the Imaginary, yet foul and turgid script, which one imagines has been seared into the flesh of the Imaginary author in some twisted Imaginary reference to the lesser works of Franz Kafka. The Imaginary Cast run the gamut of emotions from A to A. No Imaginary expense has been spared on the Imaginary set design, which sadly gives a less wooden performance than the Imaginary humans that inhabit it for an excruciating four and a half hours. Imaginary witless banter is volleyed across the stage over the Imaginary chasm where an Imaginary plot once stood, resembling nothing short of a badminton tournament in the Intellectually Impaired Wing of Hades. Certainly the Imaginary Ladies' Auxilliary cast are pretty enough to expunge a desire to take up the nearest Imaginary cudgel and crush the cranium of the nearest Imaginary lighting tech, but style sadly does not equal substance; an Imaginary lesson the Imaginary director of this atrocity would do well to learn. It is not enough to claim one imagined they saw the show under adverse conditions (ie; the Imaginary curtains opened). I imagine I will be forced to refer this Imaginary pus-drizzled excrement to the Imaginary United Nations as an Imagined Crime Against Humanity. Don't miss it; avoid it like the plague. It is Imaginary bile like this that gives Imaginary Community Theatre a bad name. Imagining sitting through "Grim's Fairy Tales" makes the Ebola virus appear like a good time. Eliot McCann- Imaginary spiteful theatre critic for an Imaginary publication. This Imaginary Review was imagined by me in order to win a couple of tickets. It is in no way a Real reflection of a Real show that hasn't even opened yet. "It ain't braggin' if you can back it up."- Jaco Pastorius

Elliot thanks for your great imaginary review, if you win the tickets as I hope you will, could you please bring that imaginary stuff you are on to the show and share it with me and the rest of the cast after the show. To the public in general just keep in mind these three shows are comedies so if you are into deep dialogue and the meaning of life then I would stay away. In fact I'm staying away and I am in the dammed show. Ray Condy PS I'm using my real name as my pseudonym is a secret.

Well I imagine that you'll be imaginarily (how's that for a new word?) projecting your presence onto the stage from the comfort of home tomorrow night. Ray, you've perfected that telekinesis after all! What do you mean, no deep dialogue and meaning of life? Your imaginary pearls of wisdom will deeply touch our imaginary audiences . . . I imagine so, anyway. Break an imaginary leg, my friend - let's slay 'em in the imaginary aisles! Tim.