Nativity Scene - For Sale
Mon, 24 Dec 2001, 02:03 amcrgwllms1 post in thread
Nativity Scene - For Sale
Mon, 24 Dec 2001, 02:03 amAll the best to everyone for the silly season. (My apologies if this has already done the rounds; it's been my standard Christmas greeting since I wrote it in 1984.)
Cheers,
Craig
NATIVITY SCENE - FOR SALE
A long time ago in Bethlehem,
So the Holy Scriptures say,
A young bloke they called Jesus Christ
Invented Christmas Day.
An angel came to Joseph,
And Mary, his virgin bride;
"You shall conceive God's son", he said,
"And make some cash on the side."
Now Joseph wasn't one to miss
A get-rich-quick idea.
He sent out pamphlets far and wide,
"THE SAVIOUR IS HERE".
He then rigged up a neon sign
That everyone could see,
Roped off a place for shepherds
To park camels - for a fee.
Then hordes of migrants came along
To wonder at the view.
Admittance to the grounds was free
For children under two.
They gathered all around the front,
Outside the tiny shed.
"Roll up, Roll up!" barked Joseph,
Charging twenty bucks a head.
The sign said "SEE THE MIRACLES
OF THE INCREDIBLE BOY JESUS:
HE WALKS ON WATER, CLEANSES SOULS,
AND CURES ALL KNOWN DISEASES!"
They had to take a number each
And wait around in queues.
Mary sold them sandwiches,
Potato chips and booze.
Then one by one they prayed to him
To heal them of their ills.
These consultation fees, of course,
Were added to the bill.
No flashlights were allowed inside;
They had to pay ten quid
To get their pictures taken
In a photo with the kid.
There came to visit three old men
Who were so very wise,
Negotiating market shares
And rights to advertise.
"We must diversify and set up
Outlets overseas.
Our products'll include fruitcakes,
Greeting cards and plastic trees.
Then candles, bells, and coloured lights
Made by the Japanese.
If the book sells well, we'll run a full-length
Movie on TV.
There's endless possibility.
We're hardly off the ground.
Just think of all the dough we'll make
When Easter comes around!"
And thus the business grew into
A multi-million racket
With interviews, promotions, tours...
And Joseph made a packet.
"Number 86, your time is up.
Leave your presents over here.
Drop past our gift shop as you go,
And buy some souvenirs!"
crg
<8>-/=====/-----------------
Cheers,
Craig
NATIVITY SCENE - FOR SALE
A long time ago in Bethlehem,
So the Holy Scriptures say,
A young bloke they called Jesus Christ
Invented Christmas Day.
An angel came to Joseph,
And Mary, his virgin bride;
"You shall conceive God's son", he said,
"And make some cash on the side."
Now Joseph wasn't one to miss
A get-rich-quick idea.
He sent out pamphlets far and wide,
"THE SAVIOUR IS HERE".
He then rigged up a neon sign
That everyone could see,
Roped off a place for shepherds
To park camels - for a fee.
Then hordes of migrants came along
To wonder at the view.
Admittance to the grounds was free
For children under two.
They gathered all around the front,
Outside the tiny shed.
"Roll up, Roll up!" barked Joseph,
Charging twenty bucks a head.
The sign said "SEE THE MIRACLES
OF THE INCREDIBLE BOY JESUS:
HE WALKS ON WATER, CLEANSES SOULS,
AND CURES ALL KNOWN DISEASES!"
They had to take a number each
And wait around in queues.
Mary sold them sandwiches,
Potato chips and booze.
Then one by one they prayed to him
To heal them of their ills.
These consultation fees, of course,
Were added to the bill.
No flashlights were allowed inside;
They had to pay ten quid
To get their pictures taken
In a photo with the kid.
There came to visit three old men
Who were so very wise,
Negotiating market shares
And rights to advertise.
"We must diversify and set up
Outlets overseas.
Our products'll include fruitcakes,
Greeting cards and plastic trees.
Then candles, bells, and coloured lights
Made by the Japanese.
If the book sells well, we'll run a full-length
Movie on TV.
There's endless possibility.
We're hardly off the ground.
Just think of all the dough we'll make
When Easter comes around!"
And thus the business grew into
A multi-million racket
With interviews, promotions, tours...
And Joseph made a packet.
"Number 86, your time is up.
Leave your presents over here.
Drop past our gift shop as you go,
And buy some souvenirs!"
crg
<8>-/=====/-----------------
crgwllmsMon, 24 Dec 2001, 02:03 am
All the best to everyone for the silly season. (My apologies if this has already done the rounds; it's been my standard Christmas greeting since I wrote it in 1984.)
Cheers,
Craig
NATIVITY SCENE - FOR SALE
A long time ago in Bethlehem,
So the Holy Scriptures say,
A young bloke they called Jesus Christ
Invented Christmas Day.
An angel came to Joseph,
And Mary, his virgin bride;
"You shall conceive God's son", he said,
"And make some cash on the side."
Now Joseph wasn't one to miss
A get-rich-quick idea.
He sent out pamphlets far and wide,
"THE SAVIOUR IS HERE".
He then rigged up a neon sign
That everyone could see,
Roped off a place for shepherds
To park camels - for a fee.
Then hordes of migrants came along
To wonder at the view.
Admittance to the grounds was free
For children under two.
They gathered all around the front,
Outside the tiny shed.
"Roll up, Roll up!" barked Joseph,
Charging twenty bucks a head.
The sign said "SEE THE MIRACLES
OF THE INCREDIBLE BOY JESUS:
HE WALKS ON WATER, CLEANSES SOULS,
AND CURES ALL KNOWN DISEASES!"
They had to take a number each
And wait around in queues.
Mary sold them sandwiches,
Potato chips and booze.
Then one by one they prayed to him
To heal them of their ills.
These consultation fees, of course,
Were added to the bill.
No flashlights were allowed inside;
They had to pay ten quid
To get their pictures taken
In a photo with the kid.
There came to visit three old men
Who were so very wise,
Negotiating market shares
And rights to advertise.
"We must diversify and set up
Outlets overseas.
Our products'll include fruitcakes,
Greeting cards and plastic trees.
Then candles, bells, and coloured lights
Made by the Japanese.
If the book sells well, we'll run a full-length
Movie on TV.
There's endless possibility.
We're hardly off the ground.
Just think of all the dough we'll make
When Easter comes around!"
And thus the business grew into
A multi-million racket
With interviews, promotions, tours...
And Joseph made a packet.
"Number 86, your time is up.
Leave your presents over here.
Drop past our gift shop as you go,
And buy some souvenirs!"
crg
<8>-/=====/-----------------
Cheers,
Craig
NATIVITY SCENE - FOR SALE
A long time ago in Bethlehem,
So the Holy Scriptures say,
A young bloke they called Jesus Christ
Invented Christmas Day.
An angel came to Joseph,
And Mary, his virgin bride;
"You shall conceive God's son", he said,
"And make some cash on the side."
Now Joseph wasn't one to miss
A get-rich-quick idea.
He sent out pamphlets far and wide,
"THE SAVIOUR IS HERE".
He then rigged up a neon sign
That everyone could see,
Roped off a place for shepherds
To park camels - for a fee.
Then hordes of migrants came along
To wonder at the view.
Admittance to the grounds was free
For children under two.
They gathered all around the front,
Outside the tiny shed.
"Roll up, Roll up!" barked Joseph,
Charging twenty bucks a head.
The sign said "SEE THE MIRACLES
OF THE INCREDIBLE BOY JESUS:
HE WALKS ON WATER, CLEANSES SOULS,
AND CURES ALL KNOWN DISEASES!"
They had to take a number each
And wait around in queues.
Mary sold them sandwiches,
Potato chips and booze.
Then one by one they prayed to him
To heal them of their ills.
These consultation fees, of course,
Were added to the bill.
No flashlights were allowed inside;
They had to pay ten quid
To get their pictures taken
In a photo with the kid.
There came to visit three old men
Who were so very wise,
Negotiating market shares
And rights to advertise.
"We must diversify and set up
Outlets overseas.
Our products'll include fruitcakes,
Greeting cards and plastic trees.
Then candles, bells, and coloured lights
Made by the Japanese.
If the book sells well, we'll run a full-length
Movie on TV.
There's endless possibility.
We're hardly off the ground.
Just think of all the dough we'll make
When Easter comes around!"
And thus the business grew into
A multi-million racket
With interviews, promotions, tours...
And Joseph made a packet.
"Number 86, your time is up.
Leave your presents over here.
Drop past our gift shop as you go,
And buy some souvenirs!"
crg
<8>-/=====/-----------------