If They Ran Theatre Like Sports

I rarely check the new headlines that appear down the left hand side of the front page on this site, but this one is worth a look!



A few of us remember a once prominent local festival director telling a theatre company to take its lead from sporting clubs. I wouldn't mind betting the philistine had something like this in mind.

I won't reproduce it all here, that would infringe someone's copyright, but here's a few snippets:

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- Audience members would be allowed to blow big plastic stadium horns any time they liked.

- The director would be seen at the side of the stage chewing gum tensely during big scenes.

- Actors' credits would be flashed on a big scoreboard as they made their entrances.

- Performers could stop shows in the middle of a scene for a "Time out" so they could decide how to do the next scene.

- Action would come to a complete halt every 15 minutes so commercials could be inserted.

- If an actress hit a really big note, the whole show would stop, and we'd get to watch her hit the note from 17 different angles, while the critics offered expert analysis like, "That was a REALLY BIG NOTE."

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:-)

Cheers
Grant