You Know You're in Community Theatre When...
Thu, 19 Mar 2009, 01:21 pmLabrug24 posts in thread
You Know You're in Community Theatre When...
Thu, 19 Mar 2009, 01:21 pm...your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.
...you have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.
...you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.
...you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is.
...you have a Frequent Shopper Card at The Salvation Army.
...you start buying your work clothes at Goodwill so you can buy your costumes at the mall.
...you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.
...you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with hot glue.
...you've ever appeared in a show where tech week is devoted to getting the running time under four and a half hours.
...you've ever appeared on stage in an English drawing room murder mystery where half the cast spoke with southern accents,( or Broad Aussie accents - ed)
...your children have ever begged you not to buy them any more Happy Meals.
...you've ever appeared in a show where the cast outnumbered the audience.
...you've ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for auditions.
...the audience recognizes you the minute you walk on stage because they saw you taking out the trash before the show.
...you've ever menaced anyone with a gun held together with electrical tape.
...you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing a dinner gown and high heels, and you're a guy.
...you've ever played the father of someone your father's age.
...your kids know your lines better than you do.
...your kids DELIVER your lines better than you do.
...you get home from rehearsal and have to go back to the theater because you forgot your kids.
...you've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first.
...you've ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was REALLY drunk.
...you've ever heard a director say, "Try not to bump into the furniture," and mean it.
...you've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to.
...you've ever heard the head of the set construction crew say, "Just paint it black - no one will ever see it."
...you've ever appeared in a show featuring a flushing toilet sound effect.
...the set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the
stage because the floor's still wet-five minutes before curtain.
...you've ever said, "Don't worry - we'll just hot glue it."
Sourced off the web - American Source - Explains the Southern Accent line...
...your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.
...you have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.
...you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.
...you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is.
...you have a Frequent Shopper Card at The Salvation Army.
...you start buying your work clothes at Goodwill so you can buy your costumes at the mall.
...you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.
...you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with hot glue.
...you've ever appeared in a show where tech week is devoted to getting the running time under four and a half hours.
...you've ever appeared on stage in an English drawing room murder mystery where half the cast spoke with southern accents,( or Broad Aussie accents - ed)
...your children have ever begged you not to buy them any more Happy Meals.
...you've ever appeared in a show where the cast outnumbered the audience.
...you've ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for auditions.
...the audience recognizes you the minute you walk on stage because they saw you taking out the trash before the show.
...you've ever menaced anyone with a gun held together with electrical tape.
...you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing a dinner gown and high heels, and you're a guy.
...you've ever played the father of someone your father's age.
...your kids know your lines better than you do.
...your kids DELIVER your lines better than you do.
...you get home from rehearsal and have to go back to the theater because you forgot your kids.
...you've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first.
...you've ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was REALLY drunk.
...you've ever heard a director say, "Try not to bump into the furniture," and mean it.
...you've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to.
...you've ever heard the head of the set construction crew say, "Just paint it black - no one will ever see it."
...you've ever appeared in a show featuring a flushing toilet sound effect.
...the set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the
stage because the floor's still wet-five minutes before curtain.
...you've ever said, "Don't worry - we'll just hot glue it."
Sourced off the web - American Source - Explains the Southern Accent line...
Additional?
...you perform on a stage with more gaffa tape than flats.
...you've ever had to say "No, I don't get paid for it."
Absit invidia (and DFT :nono:)
Jeff Watkins
. . . you NEVER have
... you are performing the
- when production meetings
- when you have a telephone
- an actor/director/costume
Love it
Love all these entries - GREAT STUFF!
One thing... Suzanne, doesn't you first point happen really often in professional theatre/Film/TV? LOL. Good one though.
Absit invidia (and DFT :nono:)
Jeff Watkins
- you use radios for cans
Might as well keep them coming.
another one - and a few memories.....
..... when your entire wardrobe at home consists of one colour - stage crew black
... an active prop kerosine lamp is dropped, gushes flame everywhere backstage - and the audience praise the "realistic train smells"
.... the smoke machine runs amok and the audience cant see the cast for the "fog"
... the stagehand has a gunpowder burn caused by offstage gunshots from a starting pistol
... the bed you used in the last play has been turned upside down for the next - to create a "four poster" from a "pipeline bunk"
... the prompt is louder than the cast...
.... the lead asks the prompt to repeat the cue, loudly - from centre stage.
.... the prompt has their own desk and light and walks on with the orchestra.
... the Author, Director and Lead Man are the same person
.... the lead male is "persuaded" into his role 48 hours before the opening - and knows his lines.....
.... the lighting rig is made from scaffolding pipe held up by cable ties...
(Here's one to jog labrug's memory)
...... the junior physician character slams a door so hard it smashes a mirror on stage and the SM rapidly dons a nurses costume, cleans up the broken glass - and NO-ONE realises she shouldn't be there!
(Thankfully, although these situational gaffs are true, they are all part of what "Community Theatre" once was.....and we have all come a LONG way since then!)
"If you think you are small and insignificant and cannot make a difference - try sleeping with a mosquito." - Dalai Lama (from a recently observed T-shirt)
Memories of the past.
Additional
...... the junior physician character slams a door so hard it smashes a mirror on stage and the SM rapidly dons a nurses costume, cleans up the broken glass - and NO-ONE realises she shouldn't be there, and the audience compliment the crew for the realistic effects because of it!
Absit invidia (and DFT :nono:)
Jeff Watkins
Credit where credit is due...
Quite true my friend ... There should have been an additional bow for that one, but I think they blamed the "Wabbit".
*LAFFS*
"If you think you are small and insignificant and cannot make a difference - try sleeping with a mosquito." - Dalai Lama (from a recently observed T-shirt)
When tech week is devoted
tech stuff
...when you are continuously tinkering with the props, making them 'better' mid-way through the actual season.
...if the director takes on a role only because they could find enough cast members.
...the assistant director is also the stage-manager, props-coordinator, costume assistant and general supernumerary extra.
Absit invidia (and DFT :nono:)
Jeff Watkins
- When there are
'Grammer' for example?
Professional Programme
Why would a director take
Yes it is 'extremely'
Ooppss!
Thanks for the catch. It should read
...if the director takes on a role only because they could NOT find enough cast members.
Absit invidia (and DFT :nono:)
Jeff Watkins
You know you are in community theatre when...
laugh