The audience from Hell

I sadly remember a performance of R&J from days of yore.... it had the school audience from h@ll... well, the front row at least. The rows behind were great! Well done you lot!! and the teachers !!! A young madam sat in the front and proceeded to show off her new white boots to all her friends up and down the row, to the extent of putting her legs out onto the stage area and loudly exhorting them all to look and admire. She kept this up for at least ten minutes and then decided to start contributing to the play by making snide comments on the action. The climax came when, as Lady C., I swept onstage to do the whole "weeping over Tybalt's dead body" bit and the train of my skirt flipped onto the actor's face. He held it together, the young madam snorted loudly and encouraged her friends to laugh too..which of course they did. I turned it all into a "wiping the dead one's face tenderly thing" rose to my feet to confront the Prince and managed, oh dear...what a pity...to tread on the young lady's foot as I did so. She yelped and then subsided for the rest of the play, glaring at me if I got near her. When occasion allowed I merely smiled sweetly and got on with it. The poor bloke playing the Prince got a real start because I was particularly venomous and a bit scary as I stalked towards him. I explained it all afterwards and we all had a good laugh. Front row beware, you may not be as safe as you think! Flip side, have since had several brilliant school audiences...but really wish they would all acknowledge the need to turn the flipping mobiles off, there's nearly always one or two tell tale "blue glow" faces out there. Sigh! "Life is too short to stuff a mushroom"