Read Play English Begets
Fri, 2 Jan 2009, 09:34 pmMcPhil5 posts in thread
Read Play English Begets
Fri, 2 Jan 2009, 09:34 pmEnglish Begets
By
Phillip McDonald
Teacher: Welcome class to your first English lesson.
Language without print is merely sound without form.
Now tell us something about yourself.
Students: Huh wa um ah dah na keh. Wah.
Teacher: At least you have a good grasp of syllables. Remember the golden rule of writing is honesty. Our first exercise is to write a few paragraphs on
what English means to you.
Students: “ ~*# c ^!?x(Pow!)*d{<,>fx +#(-)= fk!!! ~o~(Wack!)*;t: btcih!”.
Teacher: I’m ok; luckily my colon has plenty of padding. Yes well… your use of your one word vocabulary was well… well placed for maximum impact. Now, let’s turn our attention onto reading, shall we.
Students: “*#~/`>*=” Huh, wat ya sa? Whr? Huh? Wah wah… - Hrrr.
I… can... jmup... pdduels… in my … lttlie... egnnie... taht… culod…
Teacher: Your thirst for knowledge is plainly evident. Let’s work on our spelling, for it is the magic to open any door.
Students: Oepn, saseme, undichperabble. Wah Wah.
Teacher: Very good, slightly ajar. Now class could you please hand in last week’s punctuation assignment.
Students: “ Look who’s tlkaknig, Mr Cpaiatl wlil satrt, and Ms aosprtphoe wlil calfriy who blenogs wehre?And to whom is the qesuiton! xelciamed Mrak cmomas, drwanig a braeth to say I hvae siad enuogh, flul sotp. Colon: And his brohter Semi; intrejceted impilacting a smumary of elaboraet centense devison.”
Teacher: Excellent progress. Your improvement punctuates my breath. Now creative writing expresses your true voice.
Students: The spoken word is what you say
on the out-side
The written word is sound on page
from with- in
Thoughts shared is fluid ink
for your soul.
Teacher:
(Students.) Brilliant as I expected. Now for the end of year honor roll call.
For you are no longer name without sound, ink without paper or knowledge encrusted.
Helen, Helen Kellar are you here. (I hear ya, Miss Sullivan.) And Sheila Kellar are you present. (I am now I see Miss.) Guy Kellar, (I know, I know now Miss.) My there are an awful lot of you, aren’t there, oh and by the way thank you for the apples they are what keeps me coming back. Class dismissed. – NEXT! Albeeeeee!
END PLAY
ALBE – Adult Literacy Basic Education.
Wha Wha (water) were Helen Kellars first words.
English Begets
By
Phillip McDonald
Teacher: Welcome class to your first English lesson.
Language without print is merely sound without form.
Now tell us something about yourself.
Students: Huh wa um ah dah na keh. Wah.
Teacher: At least you have a good grasp of syllables. Remember the golden rule of writing is honesty. Our first exercise is to write a few paragraphs on
what English means to you.
Students: “ ~*# c ^!?x(Pow!)*d{<,>fx +#(-)= fk!!! ~o~(Wack!)*;t: btcih!”.
Teacher: I’m ok; luckily my colon has plenty of padding. Yes well… your use of your one word vocabulary was well… well placed for maximum impact. Now, let’s turn our attention onto reading, shall we.
Students: “*#~/`>*=” Huh, wat ya sa? Whr? Huh? Wah wah… - Hrrr.
I… can... jmup... pdduels… in my … lttlie... egnnie... taht… culod…
Teacher: Your thirst for knowledge is plainly evident. Let’s work on our spelling, for it is the magic to open any door.
Students: Oepn, saseme, undichperabble. Wah Wah.
Teacher: Very good, slightly ajar. Now class could you please hand in last week’s punctuation assignment.
Students: “ Look who’s tlkaknig, Mr Cpaiatl wlil satrt, and Ms aosprtphoe wlil calfriy who blenogs wehre?And to whom is the qesuiton! xelciamed Mrak cmomas, drwanig a braeth to say I hvae siad enuogh, flul sotp. Colon: And his brohter Semi; intrejceted impilacting a smumary of elaboraet centense devison.”
Teacher: Excellent progress. Your improvement punctuates my breath. Now creative writing expresses your true voice.
Students: The spoken word is what you say
on the out-side
The written word is sound on page
from with- in
Thoughts shared is fluid ink
for your soul.
Teacher:
(Students.) Brilliant as I expected. Now for the end of year honor roll call.
For you are no longer name without sound, ink without paper or knowledge encrusted.
Helen, Helen Kellar are you here. (I hear ya, Miss Sullivan.) And Sheila Kellar are you present. (I am now I see Miss.) Guy Kellar, (I know, I know now Miss.) My there are an awful lot of you, aren’t there, oh and by the way thank you for the apples they are what keeps me coming back. Class dismissed. – NEXT! Albeeeeee!
END PLAY
ALBE – Adult Literacy Basic Education.
Wha Wha (water) were Helen Kellars first words.
play
In plain English
This play is an expression of my experience from studying English last year.
The purpose is nothing other than for entertainment, and to get some feed back as to whether people enjoyed it.
Regards
McPhilm
Sorry - I think I'm still
What is your litmus test
Thank you Marcie for your feed back.
It is short read play. Most people fear learning English, for them It is a litmus test of their intelligence. This is why they feel like a Helen Kellar. My class mates were mostly first time English students. The play is a stylised condensed year.
Your comments do highlight that when presenting any piece of theater/story/performance the audience needs some back-ground information to set the scene.
Regards
Phillip