Seeking Redneck Hillbillies for one act play

The Kalamunda Dramatic Society have kindly invited A lad in sane to join them for their 2013 one act season. I have the dates here listed on a piece of bark..oh yeah..there'll be four shows, an the dates are...30th and 31st August an the 6th an 7th September. Now it's a mighty fine thing to be invited to perform 'DROOLIN BANJO"S...a new play by that fellah who goes by the name of 'baldy old coot' or somethin like that, but I took it on me to remind him that it's no good gettin all excited about an invite if we don't have the Hillbilly's soes we can act this thing out...an so he suggested I oughta place a notice on this here web site... so cuttin to the kwik..what we're looking for is printed below...the details follow... Stevie Wyatt Male: age: 30-35 Candy Wyatt Female: age: 30-35 Billy Wyatt Male: age: 13-14 Dwight Wyatt Male: age: 12-13 Elvis Wyatt Male: age: 11-12 Laura-May Wyatt Female: age: 10-11 Hailey-Jo Wyatt Female: age: 8-9 That be the cast..I suppose ya'll wanna know somethin about the tale... check upon this... Stevie Wyatt is heading back to prison. No surprise in that. Having failed the pre-sentence psychological assessment, Stevie boy is left in the hands of one of the prison’s newly employed councillor fellahs. Surprisingly, this chance meeting turns out to be a blessing in disguise, with the councillor pointing out ways in which Stevie might change his criminal ways, and at the same time, provide a way for his offspring to follow in his footsteps... An audition is to be duly atrranged on the weekend of the 27th an 28th July..details of where and when will be revealed in the comin days.. Now to audition for these parts you of course have to meet the strict criteria for bein a redneck..that criteria includes.. 1: An ability to drawl like a Hillbilly (I'm told ya'll have to do this as part of the audition) 2: Without wishin to sound racist, it ain't no good you wantin to be a Hillbilly if you have olive or dark skin, cos all the makeup in the world ain't gonna give you a redneck.. 3: An ability to look stupid is desirable...even better if you don't need to put on an act.. 4: Buck teeth and crossed eyes will be highly regarded 5: For the young ones, permission to play the part(s) from your mummy and daddy is required, that is if you happen to know where they live... I think that preety much covers the audition...now as for rehearsals they look like bein on a Monday or Tuesday evenin....and a weekend timeslot (we'll work that around the fishin and huntin trips)..the rehearsals will be at the Kalamunda Theatre which is conveniently placed right there in Redneck Territory...with some good fortune..we might find all the cast livin local.. now for more information we suggest you contact Johnny Grim on 0430 889 789..or email him on johnnygrim@optusnet.com.au we'd like to wish you the best an hope that you qualify for bein a Redneck...we'd welcome you down to the trailer anytime you can make it.... take care ya'll