Where at thou Devil's advocate and Walter Plunger

Mon, 30 Mar 2009, 08:11 pm

John Grim20 posts in thread

Dear Devil and Walter... a little birdy gave me the nod ahead of time, cos I'm in the know about all things theatre, that a certain local writer slash pathetic director is going to be promoting the hell out of his own show on this very sacred site! The nerve of him to do so makes my skin crawl...to top it off, this show is some tacky little local written piece of excrement! No! I haven't seen it, but come on! We three know exactly what to expect! I don't know about you guys, but I'm almost gagging at the thought of reading the word BANNOCKBURN! The 'almost' true story, one month to go...yet, here I find myself strangely salivating, over this gilt edged opportunity to tear this cretin into the tiniest pieces of flesh...are you with me! Yes! I knew I could count on you both...by the time we've finished with him, he shall crawl amongst the wreckage that will be this play about Scottish Highlanders...perhaps we could gather outside the Phoenix Theatre on the 29th and 30th of April...or await the darling buds of May, and savour the 1/2/6/7/8/9 May to carve the beast...I await the call. yours in spirit Devalter

Thread (20 posts)

Threaded Flat

John GrimMon, 30 Mar 2009, 08:11 pm

Freddie BadgeryMon, 30 Mar 2009, 11:30 pm

Nice...

Nicely done indeed. freddie the rocking jedi badger

Tim ProsserTue, 31 Mar 2009, 12:21 am

Locally written? Oh, it's

Locally written? Oh, it's BOUND to be absolutely appalling! I should imagine the hordes of outraged punters will be hurrying home to their computers in gleeful anticipation of adding their scorn to a rip-roaring tarring and feathering session! Hang on a minute . . . Scottish Highlanders? What's the title of that thing I'm in rehearsals for at present? Oooh dear . . . I think I'd better shut up now! Per Ardua Ad Astra

Robert WhyteTue, 31 Mar 2009, 05:42 am

I beg to differ

Oh no, I think I have seen the worst locally written show in my living memory already this year, Im sure this one will be fine. Astra ad Aspera (from stars to mud) Robert

Walter PlingeWed, 1 Apr 2009, 01:28 pm

Hey Devalter, didn't your

Hey Devalter, didn't your mother ever tell you if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all? Name yourself !

jmuzzWed, 1 Apr 2009, 01:50 pm

Hoots Johnny!

Dinna nae let th' wee jessies ge' y'doon son. They wuddna' undurrstan' huuma effit crept op behaynd th'm 'n tarpped th'm onna sholl-darr. If'n they raise 'i din, simply hoist yarr kilts 'n shoo 'em warra gud scotsm'n warrs buneeth. Bannockburn es shoo-er t'be 'i wee belltour 'o a shoo.

Walter PlingeWed, 1 Apr 2009, 01:55 pm

Oh bugger! If the play had

Oh bugger! If the play had been about Stirling Bridge I would have gone to that instead...Oh dear.

Walter PlingeWed, 1 Apr 2009, 01:56 pm

Devalter is actually Johnny

Devalter is actually Johnny Grim, the playwright of this play.

LabrugWed, 1 Apr 2009, 02:09 pm

Great Accent

So good infact I had to read it several times before I BLOODY WELL UNDERSTOOD YOU!!!

Ooch mi sor 'ead.

Absit invidia (and DFT :nono:)

Jeff Watkins

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Robert WhyteWed, 1 Apr 2009, 04:21 pm

Ee-ark-the-noo Jimmy!

Walter PlingeThu, 2 Apr 2009, 06:21 am

Dear Mr Grimshaw, Are you

Dear Mr Grimshaw, Are you in fact making fun of your own show to disguise the fact that it is going to be awful, like a fat boy who calls himself fatty? Because, you see, Mr Grimshaw, I am a snide and measly creature and do not appreciate you making fun of your own show. That of course, is my job. I am not very high educated and I am probably a obese man with erectile problems, but I think I can safely say that YOUR PLAY WILL BE DREADFUL ... and everyone should pay money to say how bad it is. DA.

shaztomFri, 3 Apr 2009, 01:36 pm

BANNOCKBURN - THE ALMOST TRUE STORY

I can't wait for this production to be on. I'm actually very close to someone who's in it and from what they've told me it's hilarious, especially the lunatic brothers Ewan and Logan.

FEED THEM - MUSHROOMS

shaztom

John GrimSat, 4 Apr 2009, 10:38 am

Shrewd

Dear Devils's avocado...I think you and I share similar physical problems. I've worked out my problem..my ever growing belly prevents me from standing erect. To resolve this problem, I fear I've had to resort to applying for a spot on the biggest loser. I can give you their number if you want? As for the show, I'm with you man! Everyone in town should pay money for a ticket and then get on here, and say how dreadful it is... because it will be dreadful...really, really dreadful... The laddie in sane

jessmessMon, 6 Apr 2009, 05:19 pm

Shame on you Johnny Grimm...

Well, I have had to put up with the most awful abuse of all...helping one of the actors run lines! My ears are ringing, and my cheeks are burning, I don't think I can cope with hearing my darling husband say the words w$#nking F#$* Sh@*te any more... I am deffinitely coming to the show to tuttut, moralise, and maybe even moderate it down a level or two.

Hywel WilliamsTue, 7 Apr 2009, 04:30 pm

Plinge W. and Advocate D.

I saw this on another post today and I thought perhaps we should all contribute and send Plinge W. and Advocate D. to learn a little about self promotion and publicity. (Running from April â€“ June (3 days a week), the course is open to students aged 17yrs + and will include Theatre, Mime, Dance, Feldenkrais, Improvisation, Circus Arts, Aerial Skills, Voice, Singing, Stage Combat, Martial Arts, Clowning, Commedia dell’Arte, Acting for Film & Television and Self-publicity.)

Tim ProsserTue, 7 Apr 2009, 07:08 pm

Ah Jess, I do sympathise

Ah Jess, I do sympathise and, considering that Theo has no problem with projection, I hope the neighbours can't hear it! (Have they stopped talking to you recently?) Mr Grim made the mistake of telling me a long time ago that his scripts should be regarded as rough guides only and that he wouldn't expect strict adherence to lines as long as the general idea was expressed. So, I've simply found alternatives to the naughty words and he hasn't complained yet. Mind you, there are plenty of lines that make me wince (even if they ARE funny), but we are after all portraying rather earthy characters and it's a great story. I don't think your beloved will be permanently altered by the experience! Per Ardua Ad Astra

John GrimTue, 7 Apr 2009, 09:20 pm

I was meaning to ask you

Mr Tim, I certainly don't mind you playing around with the lines I scribble, however, the words you're leaving out are the very ones that may be seen as the funniest, by those whose mind swims around the sewers at midnight...like mine is want to do.

Tim ProsserWed, 8 Apr 2009, 03:01 pm

Oh, alright Mr Grim . . .

Oh, alright Mr Grim . . . if you insist. I (I was going to say Jock, but he couldn't care less) will suppress my discomfort and say the words, if I must. Thank goodness, though, that Jock doesn't swear anywhere near as much as the others in this grimy gang o' highland heathens! Per Ardua Ad Astra

jessmessThu, 9 Apr 2009, 06:49 pm

Supressing the naughty words...

Well Tim the neighbours have been looking a might concerned. Keep asking me who the hairy scotsman is, the one that seems to be lurking around the house and acting suspicious...

Gullible me

This is great!

I am, however, embarrassingly gullible. For a wee moment there I got all motherly and thought I might have to beat up the English bastard mocking my Mr Grim.

Well done Johnny.

You're a talent and you deserve all the success and praise Bannockburn has thus far received. It would be a pleasure to get the opportunity to ever work with you again.

Sinéad

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