That Ross Bloke ... The True His Story!

Acting Up in 2008

To heck with it, it’s hot (outside), nothing on the box and I’ve just seen that somebody’s posted a note saying Stinger looks just like me!!

Now look, he is a very good looking, learned gentleman, in a robust Freo way, perhaps not as rugged looking as another Freo lawyer, the erstwhile Richard Utting – now there’s a great actor if you’ve seen him in court! However I don’t think I look anything like Stinger – I’m more, well, distinguished? Grey, Edwardian really, besides, my guitar playing will NEVER be anywhere near as good as Stinger’s – my piano is pretty good though!

Then I remembered some cove having a go at me for being a car salesman and I thought, “Hmm, the Chinese Whisper factor is at work here, so I thought I’d clear up the misconceptions and take the time to thank some lovely people involved in community theatre. If you want to say hello, or arrange to take a hit out on me, I’m going to attend the ITA night tomorrow night and you’ll see that Stinger is so much taller than me! Oh, yes, the car sales bit – I was, for many moons, the marketing manager of the Barbagallo Group, but these days, I’m  the marketing manager for Fairline WA, based in Freo! That wasn’t Stinger having lunch at the Norfolk today, it was me!

 

The True His-Story

One of the myriad reasons for leaving the delights of the wheatbelt and moving back to Perth, was the desire to tread the boards, flaunting that amateur thespian status.

In my 27 months in the bush, I was only able to participate in two plays, “Spiders Web”  at The Old Mill in November 2006 and “ Man & Boy” at Garrick Theatre in November 2007. I realised how much I loved theatre, but knew it was impossible to do, whilst I lived so far from the action – three rehearsals a week amounted to 1,000kms travelling per week, while during the three week performance schedule, it was 1,500kms per week. Worse, after each performance (and a drink at the bar with friends who’d attended), I was still faced with a 165km drive! I got to know the kangaroos by name, some of them still write! To further cement my love of the footlights – alright, alright, the bloody spotlight! – I was fortunate enough to score a Best Supporting Actor gong for my role in “Man and Boy,” and in 2007, I was lucky enough to become a finalist in the Maj Monologues competition.

 

Where Did It All Begin?

For those of you who don’t know when this madness first came upon me, it’s all due to a lovely friend, Lee Stupart. She emailed me an audition form, back in 2003, for Frankenstein, saying, “Why not?” I’ve never been too sure whether she meant the actual role of Frankenstein would be a perfect fit, or that I should give it a go (she’d remembered me telling her that I’d always regretted never having a go at acting)

So, at the tender (hmm!) age of 52, I found myself nervously waiting, one Sunday morning, outside the Blue Room in Northbridge, completely out of my depth. A wonderful young lady by the name of Jo Marsh, auditioned me. When I’d finished whatever I was doing, she said, “Wow, that was fantastic. I’ll call you.” Crestfallen, but realistic, (I knew they said that to all the wood ducks), I slunk outta there. Three days later, she rang and offered me two roles. Not knowing any better, I accepted. The late Geoff Gibbs, in his occasional role as Theatre Critic for The West, lambasted the production, but was surprisingly (and a little embarrassingly) gentle on me, telling readers that I “exuded charm and presence.” I never paid him!

The journey continued some months later, when The Old Mill advertised auditions for “Travelling North.” One of my all time favourite plays / films, I simply could not resist and auditioned for the role of the dentist. The lovely Sue Lynch, who has since become a good friend, refused to give me the role, instead insisting I take on the part of Freddy Wicks. I couldn’t even begin to accept it - that was Graham Kennedy’s role. Sacrosanct, besides, it was a funny part. She insisted, I was terrified. On opening night, the audience laughed and laughed and laughed. Little did they know the monster they’d unleashed upon the world. I was HOOKED!

There’ve been quite a few excellent plays along the way, I won’t mention them all, suffice to say, I inevitably get picked to play the role of the policeman – is that Roy Orbison I hear singing … loudly? Then there was “Breaker Morant” another of my all time favourite movies, Director, Lawrence of Nedlands, insisted I remove my beard for the role he was giving me. I was extremely reluctant – the beard hadn’t been off since I was about 21! But I shaved it. He then gave me second role in the production which necessitated my wearing a false beard. I HATED not having my beard, worse, two of my daughters had never seen me without a beard and burst into tears, insisting that I NEVER remove it again, I won’t.

And I also learnt that I am, alas, too old for those dashing leading roles – you know the ones, where you get to kiss the leading lady passionately. My roles inevitably have me pecking the gorgeous leading lady on the cheek, having saved her from a fate worse than death – yes, I see where you’re heading! Witness my last role, in “Gaslight,” oh yes, a leading role, but there I was playing (and I do use the term theatrically!) with the most beautiful lady, Mia Martin and yes, you’ve got it, even the lines written for me said, “I’m old enough to be your grandfather.” Sure enough, I got to peck her on the cheek on TWO different occasions.

 

2008

Which leads me to this past year and the chance to get back into theatre. It was June by the time I had the opportunity to consider anything. I read of a company called A Lad In Sane, doing a season of three one-act plays at the Old Mill in August. I asked for a script and one role jumped at me … right into my brain – Robbie the bikie, who finds himself sent to Heaven by mistake, in “Stairway to Heaven.” I HAD to have that role!

Johnny Grim, the writer, was also the director, it was my first time working with him and what a treat it turned out to be. Tim Prosser played the role of Gabe (the Archangel), and absolute novice Jim Barton, bravely took on the role of Alfred, the short-changed tax inspector. And what a talent he turned out to be. I’d worked with Tim before, who is also a genius on set design and painting, not to mention his stunning paintings of WW11 aircraft.

The other two plays were “The Giant” and “No Strings Attached.” Giant was written for a dwarf to take the leading role, but Johnny was unable to cast anybody suitable and had to hastily rewrite just two weeks before the show went up. Although everyone involved gave it their best shot, it didn’t work, but “No Strings Attached” was stunning – in spite of my having a walk on / walk off, no-speaking role. I finished the season thinking how lucky I was to work with these people and knowing that I would jump at the chance to work with them again.

But there was no time to stop, great mate Ted Bull has asked me to handle the publicity, advertising and photography for his up-coming production of “Pirates of Penzance,” It was, deservedly so, for Ted, the delightful Pru Ashurst and the cast, an absolute sell-out.

Finally, there was “Gaslight” at the Old Mill in October – I started rehearsals for this the day after “Stairway to Heaven,” finished. I’ll get to the cast in a minute, but first the director, Sally Barendse and stage manager Tina Wilton, who is actually Sally’s sister. They were an absolute delight to work with, very professional and Sally is almost pedantic in her quest for perfection, but not in an annoying, nasty way, just wanting everything to be right. I know I drove Sally mad, she so wanted me to have my script down early, but with my life, (I was working 12 – 15 hour days driving road trains at that stage) it’s never possible. I kept reassuring her that it “would all be all right on the night ,“ the wonderful Hywell Williams, who was doing a walk on / walk off copper role, would also tell her, “Greg’s always the same, don’t worry.” Somehow I have this picture in my mind of Sally going home, swallowing several Bex and having a good lie down … in tears.

Then there’s the cast. I was blessed. Sally had chosen superbly – well, perhaps she stuffed up with me! – Mia Martin was the leading lady. What a superb talent and a wonderful actor to work with. Robert Whyte was the vicious husband and slipped into the role so perfectly, I was sometime a little unsure who was there behind the beard! – which he shaved off two minutes after leaving the stage on the final night, not to mention that he battled the most hideous flu virus for the last week and a half of the production. At one stage, he had no voice on stage, but somehow soldiered on, a fantastic drug-filled (int the nicest possible way) top performance.

But apart from Mia, perhaps the most accolades should be given to Rosemary Longhurst (as Elizabeth) and Dannielle Ashton (as Nancy), they were truly magnificent.  Quite often, such talented actors as these two people, are unwilling to take on minor roles, as it’s so time consuming. What they proved, is just how strong a production becomes with really good actors in minor roles. I didn’t appear on stage with Dannielle, but working with Rosemary gave me a totally unexpected opportunity to fly.

I haven’t mentioned all the back stage people in all these productions, as there are simply too many to mention, suffice to say, that that very fact illustrates the point that none of us could fly out front, without the tireless, often thankless people, madly running around backstage and up in the sound and lighting box, making sure everything works. What it must be like up in the Sound and Lighting box, to be following a script very closely, (in order to time sound effects and lighting), when suddenly, an actor drops his lines!!!! Then there’s the Front-of-House volunteers, who never get mentioned, who actually run the theatre! Community / Amateur theatre is made up of incredible volunteers, who give so much time and effort to maintain the art throughout our communities.

Oh that’s right, I hadn’t quite finished everything in theatre for 2008, the redoubtable Norma rang me (from The Old Mill), asking me to take the publicity shots for “From The 14^th Floor You Can See The Harbour Bridge.”

2009

First up, Johnny Grim had a group of us around for a reading of his new play “The Battle of Bannockburn” just after Xmas. It’s very, very funny – think Billy Connelly. He’s hoping to stage if around mid to late April, which suits me perfectly and there’s still a few roles to fill, if anybody out there wants to play, you won’t regret it! Then later in the year, Garrick Theatre has a couple of really interesting plays I will definitely audition for.

As for all those beautiful, talented ladies I was fortunate enough to work, sadly (for me!), most of them are happily married – hmm, hang on, what about Tina! … “Hello, darling, Inspector Rough  ‘ere… lookin’ like a cat wiv Devonshire Cream!”

Happy New Year everyone, your time, skill, interest and friendship is wonderfully appreciated. If anyone has appeared in any of the afore-mentioned plays, I’ve posted an album of photos from them on my Blog site:

http://www.loconut.com.au/myplace/gregross/default.aspx

All Good Things

Greg

Greg Ross

Minister for Good Times

 PS: Apologies for the first words appearing in a line by themselves, I've tried, but I can't fix the bloody thing!