Less freaked out, but still worried

Taking advantage of the long weekend, I set out to test out a new site for TPC. All well and good, since my domain name had accidentally been cancelled out on me (fixed really quickly after some harassing of the web host) and now the web host's server has gone down - my site has 'disappeared', with the domain name redirecting to the still used Freewebs site. If the domain name doesn't work, it doesn't redirect. So yeah, back to the topic - the good news is that I've happily found a cheap and pretty way of getting everything I need online. I'm glad to say it will all be up and running properly within the next month - luckily I'll finish my job in three weeks (well, two and a half now). What worries me still is the money - this week seems to be full of questions like that, with the ever-present end-of-work date looming and me wondering what I'll do to earn money and still manage to fulfill myself creatively. I find that the more I try to earn money, the less I feel fulfilled. Sociologists have done studies and have said that when people retire or are fired from their jobs, they feel as though they have lost their identity. That's how I feel. A month ago, when I was doing the comedy festival, I felt partly like how I used to - me somehow. Now I don't feel like me. The question is - can I find a job, in the theatre industry, that pays well, and still allows me to do my extra-curricular activities (like TPC), and makes me feel, well, like me again? Unlikely. Perhaps I should leave the country and work somewhere else - unlikely. I have panic attacks (severe) when away from home. Perhaps I should just quit the arts - only if I want to be more unhappy. Perhaps I should just stop worrying about money and do what I want - with parents growing more tired of supporting me, and the looming idea of 'what happens if', that is just as unlikely. I go to work every day on the tram, and I sit next to 'suits', reading their stock sections, listening to their iPods, and I wonder if they ever realise how stifled, oppressive, supressive, and smothered it is to cut off your creativity in order to earn a buck. I don't think anyone but another artist can understand the true meaning of this concept.